Random stuff about me

1. I love to talk about myself, it's so easy! And I'm a pretty open and honest person.

2. I'm extremely impatient and I think it's gotten worse since having Kyliana

3. I feel like the SD is the source of most of my depression and anxiety issues, but when my counselor suggested I bring him in to talk I said "no way!" I don't want him to know the effect he has on me because he might get satisfaction out of it.

4. If you asked me 5 years ago I would say there was no chance in the world Vic and I would be in a relationship...ever.

5. As much as I love being an independent person, I think Vic has spoiled me to the point that I don't know if I could make it on my own if anything happened between us. I was not like that before him, I'd never accept help from anybody aside from my mother occasionally or admit I need help...but I just can't afford to live like I do on my own!

6. I love Kyliana the most when she's sleeping because that's when I reflect on the day and realize I take her for granted, or that's when I watch shows with children in them (happy or sad, doesn't matter) and realize she's such a great child.

7. I am one of the laziest people I know. I will sit around and watch tv all weekend and then feel bad about it sunday night because I've wasted my life away when I could be doing something productive. I even hate to get up to pee sometimes!

8. I can't wait to own my own home someday!

9. I never feel like I'm organized enough and every time I move to a new place I vow I will be...but every time I get a new place I have more space to put more stuff in, so it's just a bad cycle.

10. I was extremely depressed when I found out I was pregnant with a girl. But now that Kamaya is here I'm so freakin glad she's not a boy. And now I'm not sure if I still want a boy in the future!

11. I can honestly say I don't have any real friends aside from my online friends. I've never had anybody over to my house except for my parents. And I don't ever have a "girls night". If I'm not out with Vic and/or the girls, I'm by myself. I have never had a lot of friends because I pretty much suck at making them. I've never been fond of girls and a lot of guys aren't your friend after they realize you won't sleep with them.

12. I'm a huge picture whore. I love taking them. I also love showing them to people. And I love taking Ky to get hers done "professionally" and I think it's going to be worse now with two kids. Kyliana had her pics taken at 1 mo, 6 months, halloween (7mos), twice for Christmas (9 mos), Valentines day (11 mos) and her birthday all in her first year. After that PP closed so I didn't get 50% off pro pics. Now I feel guilty because I won't have nearly as many pics of Kami.

13. Sometimes I still get a tiny bit jealous when a guy I really liked in the past is in a very happy relationship with someone else. It always makes me wonder what I did wrong.

14. I love to buy stationary though I rarely use it. I also love to buy gift wrapping supplies though I rarely use that either except for Christmas.

15. I hate to shower. I force myself to do it every other day, but I hate the cold feeling I get when I get out...that and the dry skin thing-especially in the winter.

16. I have been dreading my birthdays since after I turned 21. I felt like there was no more big birthdays that I'd want to celebrate ( like 50 is big, but I don't want to be 50) and I hadn't had a fun birthday in years. So now when my birthday comes around I get a little sad...but I'm only 24 so I know I shouldn't feel like that!

17. I have a pretty low work ethic. I hate working and thought that finding a job at something I want to do would change that...but even now I dread going to internship. I also loved being a photographer but hated all the rules of taking pictures and selling them that I had to follow so I didn't like going to picture people. I wish I didn't have to work but don't think I would have the patience (or structured schedule) to stay at home with Ky and Kamaya all day.

18. I'm not a people person...most people just annoy the hell out of me.

19. I get homesick and always have. I used to be afraid of thunderstorms too and if spending the night at a friends house during a storm, I'd fake illnesses so I could go home. I also would get sad when my mom left me at my grandmother's house for a weekend or a week. Even now I love being around my mom but can't take staying away from home for too long.

20. I wouldn't trade my life for anything...but I miss the days where I was single and child-less. I had spontaneous fun and didn't get stressed out by boyfriends. (not to mention I was happy with my body-entirely). And I wasn't depressed.

21. Vic and I are singing songs from old Nickelodeon shows...TV just ain't the same these days!

22. I have never flown on a plane. And I've hardly traveled at all, though I'd like to.

23. I've also never been drunk. I've tried but I usually fall asleep after two drinks. I'm not sure if that's psychological or what.

24. I seriously think my kid is the smartest, most beautiful 3 year old ever! I know that's part of my job description, but I really do believe it. I don't go anywhere with her without her getting at least one compliment. They're usually about her hair of course ;) And now Kamaya is getting all sorts of compliments...mostly about her hair too!

25. I'm a serial mover...but I just signed a new lease...this is the first time I've stayed somewhere for more than one year!

26. I used to be obsessed with athletic shoes. I'd buy a new pair every month or two. Now I haven't bought a new pair in over a year.

27. I want to lose weight and have a goal weight in mind...but I don't do diets and can't stop eating chocolate and other sweets. I'm really determined to do it, but not confident that I can.

28. When my mom and stepdad first got together I didn't really get along with him...but now I totally regret that. I also hate myself for not letting Kyliana call him "grandpa". I miss him more every day!

29. I'm so ADD! And I can't remember anything!

30. I don't think I'll ever move out of Ohio. I don't LOVE it here, but I can't be any further away from my mom than I am now. I want my grandkids to be closer to their grandma than I was to mine!